Resilience – Putting it all into perspective

We all take a kick from time to time, sadly that’s life. Everyone reacts differently to those kicks.  Some people dust themselves down and bounce back.  I’m an Evertonian – trust me, I know all about taking kicks and bouncing back! Some people however are unable to recover so easily and as a result they allow each setback to affect them, be it at home, at work or quite often both.

We’ve been running our business for around 11 years now. We’ve had some real successes which of course feels great, but we’ve also had lots of setbacks ranging from a rather costly ‘fight’ with HMRC through to not getting pieces of work that we were convinced we were going to get.  Of course it hurts and feels like there’s no way out at the time, but we’ve tirelessly fought back and continued to move forward, becoming more resilient with each punch.

 There’s tons of examples of famous people taking knocks but then bouncing back. Here’s a few to inspire you…

•  J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers before Harry Potter and The Philosophers Stone was accepted.

• Walt Disney was allegedly turned down a massive 302 times before he got finance for creating Disneyland.

• Good old Vincent Van Gough sold only one painting in his lifetime…to a friend. Despite that he kept paining and finished over 800 pieces. His most expensive paining today is valued at $142.7m  

I’m sure they all felt like giving in at some point (-and probably more than once) but all of them recovered and pulled through. They bounced back because they were all passionate and believed in what they were doing.  Whilst it would be wishful thinking to hope for a life without setbacks, I’ve come to understand that this sadly isn’t the case – instead I channel my efforts into the courage I need to deal with the challenges that life throws my way and it certainly makes for a more exciting ride!

The PU View

The next time you are faced with a challenging situation ask yourself some of the following questions:

• Who is to blame? You, them, both parties?
• How long will this situation last?
• On a scale of 1-10 how much does this situation affect my life?
• What’s the worst thing that can happen?
• What’s the one thing I can do to help stop the worst from happening?
• If the worst has already happened, what can I learn from it?
• What’s the best thing that can happen?
• What is the one thing I can do to make the best thing happen?
• What can I do to handle the most likely thing, if it happens?

 Book Recommendation 

The best book we’ve read on this topic is; S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On): The Straight-Talking Guide to Succeeding in Life by Paul McGee. A brilliant book that will get you thinking about how you perceive things and how you can take back responsibility for your own actions.

Appraisals – That’s two hours of my life I won’t get back

I appreciate that it’s a slightly strange thing to say, but I quite enjoyed having my annual appraisal meeting. I can talk under water so chatting about myself for a few hours didn’t seem like a chore at all. On reflection I was probably quite lucky in that I had managers who delivered great appraisals. In my last job before I started my business I had my appraisal in the pub with a glass of Pinot and a bag of beef McCoy’s – what’s not to like?!

I speak to many managers and employees when we are out and about delivering our appraisals course. Sadly, many of the experiences they encounter aren’t as positive as mine. Just the sheer mention of the ‘A’ word sets them off into a frenzy. Here are the top 5 typical comments that we hear:

1) That’s 2 hours of my life I won’t get back.
2) It’s just a pointless tick box exercise.
3) I just copy and paste last year’s appraisal notes. (I have to take my inhaler after hearing this)
4) What’s the point? Nothing happens as a result anyway. There’s no budget.
5) I just nod in all the right places. It’s a case of let’s get in and let’s get out.

These comments aren’t that unusual. The alarming thing is though that they were all made by managers!

The PU View

As a manager, it’s you that creates either the positive or negative appraisal culture within your team. If your team aren’t switched on to the whole appraisal process then maybe you need to take a look at yourself. If you are visibly and verbally negative about the whole process then how can you expect your team to be upbeat about it?

My managers of the past were positive. They were enthusiastic about wanting to listen and chat about my past year’s performance, areas for personal development, what lay ahead in the next one and of course in return, I was receptive – maybe the wine helped?!

In many cases, comments like the ones above are made because management don’t like the appraisal forms or the process that goes with it. Instead of pumping all of your energy into criticising the process why not make some suggestions around how it could be improved? Better still, why not ask your team for their suggestions?

Think about the five typical comments above. How many have you heard yourself saying? How many have you heard your team saying? Maybe it’s time to change how you view appraisals and in turn change the appraisal culture within your team.

Book Recommendation 

Delivering appraisals is all about giving honest feedback.  To learn more about how to do this there’s no better book than; Radical Candor by Kim Scott