Resilience – Putting it all into perspective

We all take a kick from time to time, sadly that’s life. Everyone reacts differently to those kicks.  Some people dust themselves down and bounce back.  I’m an Evertonian – trust me, I know all about taking kicks and bouncing back! Some people however are unable to recover so easily and as a result they allow each setback to affect them, be it at home, at work or quite often both.

We’ve been running our business for around 11 years now. We’ve had some real successes which of course feels great, but we’ve also had lots of setbacks ranging from a rather costly ‘fight’ with HMRC through to not getting pieces of work that we were convinced we were going to get.  Of course it hurts and feels like there’s no way out at the time, but we’ve tirelessly fought back and continued to move forward, becoming more resilient with each punch.

 There’s tons of examples of famous people taking knocks but then bouncing back. Here’s a few to inspire you…

•  J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers before Harry Potter and The Philosophers Stone was accepted.

• Walt Disney was allegedly turned down a massive 302 times before he got finance for creating Disneyland.

• Good old Vincent Van Gough sold only one painting in his lifetime…to a friend. Despite that he kept paining and finished over 800 pieces. His most expensive paining today is valued at $142.7m  

I’m sure they all felt like giving in at some point (-and probably more than once) but all of them recovered and pulled through. They bounced back because they were all passionate and believed in what they were doing.  Whilst it would be wishful thinking to hope for a life without setbacks, I’ve come to understand that this sadly isn’t the case – instead I channel my efforts into the courage I need to deal with the challenges that life throws my way and it certainly makes for a more exciting ride!

The PU View

The next time you are faced with a challenging situation ask yourself some of the following questions:

• Who is to blame? You, them, both parties?
• How long will this situation last?
• On a scale of 1-10 how much does this situation affect my life?
• What’s the worst thing that can happen?
• What’s the one thing I can do to help stop the worst from happening?
• If the worst has already happened, what can I learn from it?
• What’s the best thing that can happen?
• What is the one thing I can do to make the best thing happen?
• What can I do to handle the most likely thing, if it happens?

 Book Recommendation 

The best book we’ve read on this topic is; S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On): The Straight-Talking Guide to Succeeding in Life by Paul McGee. A brilliant book that will get you thinking about how you perceive things and how you can take back responsibility for your own actions.

Hold onto your Hat – Managing a dysfunctional team

Bitchiness, tears, arguments and a threatened resignation and it was only 9.23am! Sadly this was just a normal day for Paul who’d reluctantly managed his team of ten for almost 2 years now. It hadn’t always been like this though, in fact the first 12 months had been absolutely fine but then things had changed almost overnight. An argument outside of work between a few members of the team which was then subsequently brought into work appeared to be the catalyst for the problems that then ensued…

Even though the crux of the issue was nothing whatsoever to do with work, the fallout and knock on effect of this argument was huge. It had resulted in a total lack of respect and trust between virtually every member of the team. Add into the mix a horrendous working atmosphere, high absence levels and poor productivity and one thing was for certain – Paul was definitely going to have his work cut out in trying to steady this sinking ship.

The PU View

From the outside looking in, Paul needed to get to the root cause of the problems in work so that he could figure out what needed to happen. He decided to use the ‘CIGAR’ model to work through the issue with his team:-

Current State
Ideal State
Gaps
Action
Review

The model is quite simple. Looking at Paul’s scenario he could ask each of his team members to individually reflect on what the current working culture looked & felt like.  They would then move on to discuss how they would like the working environment to be in an ideal world.  They could identify what would get in the way of them achieving their ideal culture, in other words, their gaps. From those finding, an action plan and review would be agreed by the group as a whole.  It’s quite an inclusive model in that everyone is involved in the discussion and the structure helps to keep things on track.

The hard work isn’t over though!  What Paul now needs to do is make sure that personal and team actions are reviewed on a regular basis to ensure that what everyone said they were going to do actually happens in practice. Not the easiest of managerial responsibilities, but one that nonetheless will save the team from sinking, as long as everyone sticks at it. Hold onto your hat Paul – it’s going to be a bumpy ride but you will get there eventually!

Book Recommendation 

Our recommendation; The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. This book is a few years old now but the stories and content are still very relevant and will get you thinking about how dysfunctional your team is and how you can get things back on track

Micromanagement – Don’t be a jack-in-the-box

Sue was like a Jack-in-the-Box.  She would sit at her desk chomping noisily on her Jaffa Cakes and then bang, she would bounce up out of her chair to check how the team were doing. She would swirl across the office floor speaking with her team, checking on case updates and of course double checking whether they had done the tasks she had given them that morning. After she was satisfied, Sue would scoot back to her desk and jump back into her box for another 30 or so minutes, before springing back out and starting all over again.

In Sue’s head, she was managing her team effectively.  She knew what everyone was up to and felt she had her finger firmly on the pulse. In reality, Sue’s team thought she was a real pain in the backside and thought she was a complete control freak.  I’ve no doubt Sue’s heart was in the right place.  In her head, she was trying to support and help her team, but in doing so, she was unknowingly creating a culture of complete distrust and disharmony.

Sue needed to put the brakes on.  She needed to take a step back and implement some of these tips:

• Updates – Instead of hovering over people, agree pre-arranged update meeting times with individuals in the team. Stick to the times agreed.
• Empower the team – Hand over accountability and responsibility for certain tasks and projects to individuals. Be there to support them if they need you, but definitely don’t interfere.
• Ask the team – Ask your team/individuals how they want to work. Do they want quick regular meetings, or one a week? Fit in with their needs instead of your own.
• Assess the team – Don’t treat everyone the same. New people will need more handholding, whereas the more experienced members of your team will need less attention.

If Sue had implemented these steps, she would very quickly have started to nurture a culture of mutual trust and respect within the team. Undoubtedly, over time, the atmosphere would change for the better and as a result, individual and team performance would see improvements too.

Don’t be like Sue!

Book Recommendation 

If you are looking develop your micromanagement skills you’ll love; Moving From Micromanagement to Masterful Leadership by Rhonda Geddis. 

Pic by Charles Barsotti

Keeping tabs on them all – Managing a remote team

Mel tried hard to manage her team of 15. She was up against it though as 9 of them worked in different offices across the building, with 3 more working at other sites across town. In fact, only 3 of her crew actually worked in the same office as her.

Unsurprisingly, getting everyone together was really hard work and so Mel invariably found herself dashing from one site to another, trying to please everyone. Over time, the team appeared to grow more and more distant and Mel became less productive herself as a result. In a wave of sheer panic, Mel had even thought about tagging them all but had decided this idea was a little extreme, even for her. She was well aware however that she needed to do something to take back control of her team but couldn’t figure out what to do for the best.

The PU View

Management can be a tough gig when everyone is sat together, but it can be even tougher when your team is out of sight. If we were to meet Mel we would offer her a few tips. Here’s a selection:

• Establish clear & robust communication routines & processes – stick to them.
• Get the team together physically whenever possible, even if it’s only once every month.
• Stick to your pre-arranged 1:1 meetings, telephone chats and any other scheduled communication so that standards remain important etc.
• Make sure you communicate equally with all team members.
• Put the onus on your team to proactively communicate with each other. It’s not solely down to you.
• Use technology. Skype, Zoom and conference calls are a great way to keep in touch
• Make sure that everyone is clear on individual goals, actions etc and ensure that progress is shared on a regular basis, so that everyone can see who’s doing what at any given time.
• Trust them! Don’t be paranoid. Just because they aren’t answering the phone doesn’t mean they are taking a long lunch in the pub!

We’re sure, over time Mel would eventually take back control and start to change the culture of her team from that of a team of remote individuals who didn’t really support each other, to a more inclusive, happy and proactive team that just happened to not physically see each other every day.

Book Recommendation 

We don’t have one single recommendation so we’ve provided a link to a page that provides you with a whole list of books around managing virtual and remote teams

Don’t take your eye off your Superstars

Beth had worked in her current team for 3 years and in the eyes of many, she was the office superstar. Beth always seemed to effortlessly exceed her targets. Her attitude was spot on, she was positive, always appeared to be up for a challenge and she took change in her stride. Her manager, Mark, knew that Beth was a real asset to the business and her team.

Mark assumed that Beth was firing on all cylinders but what he didn’t realise was that Beth had become bored. She enjoyed where she worked, but over the last few months Beth had become disillusioned with her lack of career progress and the work she was doing had become a little bit monotonous. There was only one thing on Beth’s mind and that was moving on to pastures new.

The PU View

Managing stars can be just as tricky as managing your under-performers. Depending on their character and personality stars can appear trustworthy, reliable and dependable. For most stars, they are also ambitious and want to progress up the career ladder. Granted, some are not like this. They may just have a high work ethic and don’t really want all the trappings that come with being a star. The battle for managers is to try to understand what it is your stars want/need and work with them to help them achieve their potential.

Mark appeared to have taken Beth for granted and it would seem he has taken his eye off the ball. He was probably focusing all his time on the other team members and simply assumed that because Beth was cracking on with things as usual, that she was completely content.

So what could Mark have done in the previous 12 months to help prevent Beth’s current state of mind? He could have…

• Found out what she wanted to achieve, what her career ambitions/aspirations were and what her personal drivers and desires were
• Put a personal career plan in place with Beth, to help her focus on meeting those ambitions & goals
• Asked her to job shadow him when carrying out certain tasks e.g. attending Board meetings so that she got a taste of what life was like further up the ladder
• Installed her as the Team Coach or Mentor. Beth would be ideal at sharing her knowledge with new members to the team and also helping the under-performers raise their game
• Delegated tasks to her such as producing/analysing the monthly reports to give her more challenging and varied tasks

It’s all about being proactive. Ignore your stars, as Mark did, and they will inevitably leave you for a more rewarding challenge.

Who are your stars? Are you proactively managing them?

Book Recommendation 

5 Conversations, How to Transform Trust, Engagement and Performance at Work by Nick Cowley & Nigel Purse is a great book that will help you to learn more about how to engage your team.

Recognition – Maybe it’s time to shift the fridge magnets?

Think back to the last time you received powerful recognition for a job well done. I don’t mean a “Well done”, or a “Thanks for doing that”. That’s just a passing comment that you may have received at the water cooler or maybe in an email, or on a post it note. When did you last provide some really powerful feedback to your colleagues or team? Again, not a passing comment, but some really useful feedback and recognition?

When we are discussing feedback and recognition as part of our courses, we hear lots of comments from managers about why they don’t give as much feedback as they should. Here are a few:

1) Why should I pat them on the back for simply doing their job?
2) I’ve got too many staff – it would take me all day to praise them all.
3) I don’t have the time.
4) It always seems a bit cringy, a bit too touchy feely for me.

Positive praise reinforces desired behaviours. Think about a dog running around in a field. You throw the stick, it brings it back and you provide positive praise, a cuddle or two, or you may even reward for your four legged friend with a treat. The likelihood is that the dog will want to perform its little trick again and again for you. I’m not saying that you should give your team members a dog chew every time they do something well but you get the gist.

Children are no different to dogs, in a good way. Your child comes home from school with a painting of an alleged fire engine. In truth, it’s just a blob of red paint. Of course you don’t tell them this. You move all of the magnets on the fridge to make way for this little masterpiece. After praising his efforts little Tommy runs off to produce yet another Monet masterpiece. Again, positive praise reinforces desired behaviour. If you want your team to produce great work time and time again they need you to provide useful feedback and positive reinforcement.

Here’s a few tips from us on providing a spot of recognition:

• It’s all about their behaviour – Be specific. A simple “Well done” (-whilst nice) just isn’t enough. They have no idea which particular bit they have done well so you need to be really explicit. Tell them exactly what they have done well and how their particular actions and behaviour have impacted on both them and the wider team.

• Deliver it ASAP. Don’t wait until their monthly 1:1 to deliver it – do it as soon as possible after the event. Doing it quickly as you see it happen will have more impact and they are more likely to remember what it was that they did well and associate these positive feelings with wanting to do that same task in the same way again.

• Face to face – Wherever possible, do it face to face. Try and refrain from sending it in an email, especially if you are only 2 seats away. If you manage them remotely try to make a special effort to go and meet with them to provide the praise. A phone call is fine if meeting them isn’t possible, but face to face is much more powerful.

• Mean what you say – Provide your praise with lots of enthusiasm and genuine sincerity. I’m not saying you have to enter the room with a brass band behind you with ticker tape falling from the ceiling but speak with passion and make sure you believe it. Don’t make it sound like its just empty words – they will see straight through you and the feedback will mean absolutely nothing.

Book Recommendation 

We’d highly recommend; Trust Factor by Paul.J.Zak. If you like a spot of neuroscience, you’ll love this! Packed full of evidence, this book will get you to realise that as a manager you have the power to release positive and negative hormones in others, especially when offering feedback and praise.

Communication – Do you offer enough clarity?

I’ve been lucky down the years.  I’ve worked for plenty of managers who treated me and others with respect.  More importantly, they made the brews and even bought cakes on a Friday.  What more could I ask for?!

Being a great leader is much more than displaying honesty, integrity, knowledge and generally being nice.  Of course, these are important, but if you want to create leaders in your business that people want to follow, they also need another vital ingredient – clarity.

Leaders who don’t provide enough clarity around their expectations, their vision, performance objectives and so on will ultimately lose the respect of those around them.  Employees won’t know what’s expected of them, or in what direction the business is heading.  They won’t be clear on the fundamental things that are key to their own and their company’s success. Ultimately of course, this poses a significant risk that employees will simply coast along waiting patiently until the Friday cakes arrive and will never really help to drive the business forward.

As a manager, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you provide enough clarity?
• On the clarity scale of 1-10 (-with 1 being non-existent), how would your team score you? Why?
• In what ways could you improve?
• What obstacles/challenges might you face in increasing your level of clarity?
• How do you intend to overcome these obstacles?

Book Recommendation 

We’d highly recommend; Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action by Simon Sinek.  A brilliant book that will help you to identify your own purpose and more importantly how that can be communicated to your own team.

Appraisals – That’s two hours of my life I won’t get back

I appreciate that it’s a slightly strange thing to say, but I quite enjoyed having my annual appraisal meeting. I can talk under water so chatting about myself for a few hours didn’t seem like a chore at all. On reflection I was probably quite lucky in that I had managers who delivered great appraisals. In my last job before I started my business I had my appraisal in the pub with a glass of Pinot and a bag of beef McCoy’s – what’s not to like?!

I speak to many managers and employees when we are out and about delivering our appraisals course. Sadly, many of the experiences they encounter aren’t as positive as mine. Just the sheer mention of the ‘A’ word sets them off into a frenzy. Here are the top 5 typical comments that we hear:

1) That’s 2 hours of my life I won’t get back.
2) It’s just a pointless tick box exercise.
3) I just copy and paste last year’s appraisal notes. (I have to take my inhaler after hearing this)
4) What’s the point? Nothing happens as a result anyway. There’s no budget.
5) I just nod in all the right places. It’s a case of let’s get in and let’s get out.

These comments aren’t that unusual. The alarming thing is though that they were all made by managers!

The PU View

As a manager, it’s you that creates either the positive or negative appraisal culture within your team. If your team aren’t switched on to the whole appraisal process then maybe you need to take a look at yourself. If you are visibly and verbally negative about the whole process then how can you expect your team to be upbeat about it?

My managers of the past were positive. They were enthusiastic about wanting to listen and chat about my past year’s performance, areas for personal development, what lay ahead in the next one and of course in return, I was receptive – maybe the wine helped?!

In many cases, comments like the ones above are made because management don’t like the appraisal forms or the process that goes with it. Instead of pumping all of your energy into criticising the process why not make some suggestions around how it could be improved? Better still, why not ask your team for their suggestions?

Think about the five typical comments above. How many have you heard yourself saying? How many have you heard your team saying? Maybe it’s time to change how you view appraisals and in turn change the appraisal culture within your team.

Book Recommendation 

Delivering appraisals is all about giving honest feedback.  To learn more about how to do this there’s no better book than; Radical Candor by Kim Scott

Self-Justification – Slam the brakes on!

I wouldn’t regard myself as a liar, well, maybe the odd white one but nothing major.  This all changed though when my son was born.  He was just a few weeks old when I kicked any morals and ethics I had out of the window…

He cried – a lot.  Upon hearing the almost deafening wailing noise piercing through my sleep like a knife through butter, I would put on my best BAFTA nominated performance, quite happily pretending that I was fast asleep.  I was happy and content with my behaviour and justified it by telling myself, “I have to go to work in the morning” and “I’ve got a 3 hour drive tomorrow”.

This self-justification fuelled my behaviour, in this example by lying.  This isn’t me, this isn’t how I was brought up but my self-justification made me become selfish and self-centred.  Not my proudest moment, but one that I’m sure every parent can relate to at some point!  It may come as no surprise that Sarah, my better half, knew all along that I was lying but simply didn’t have the time or the energy to argue with me at 2.30 in the morning.  I’ve cancelled the BAFTA!

How often do you betray your own morals and ethics?  How many times do you think negatively about someone else? How many times have you sent an abrupt/rude email in response to a snotty email you received? How many times have you delayed responding to an email because they didn’t reply to yours straight away? How many times have you snapped at home because your partner snapped at you?

We do these things all of the time. And we justify our thoughts, feelings and behaviours by telling ourselves that the other party deserves it.  Adopting this self-justifying mentality can be stressful and uses up a lot of energy.  The question is, is it always necessary?  Probably not.

The next time you’re about to snap or see the red mist, slam the brakes on, take a step back, assess the situation and decide for yourself whether your self -justification is morally correct.

If you or your guys could benefit from learning more about self-justification and the impact it can have on your management style, then get in touch now to see how we can help.