Personal Resilience – Proactive v Reactive

I was stood on the 8th Wonder of the World last week – Platform 2 of Chorley Train Station. I stood in the cold waiting patiently for the 7.35am to Manchester. Initially thinking it was going to be a boring journey, I was chuffed to bits when I was able to listen in to a loud and interesting conversation that two blokes sat nearby were having.

One of the pair explained how his boss was a ‘complete dragon’ (I’ve left the expletive out). He explained how he’d missed his targets that month, but how it really wasn’t his fault. The dragon explained were he’d gone wrong and where he needed to improve next month, but the poor victim was having none of it; she was ‘getting at him’. She had also told him that everyone was going to be trained up to cover other tasks, in other words to multi-skill. He said this was the dragons attempt at ‘managing him out’. Now, I’m no Poirot, but I suspect he had taken all of this feedback to heart.

We’re all guilty of taking things to heart, but sometimes we need to see things differently.  What if he had actually listened to the dragon? What if he’d taken on board what she’d said and thought about learning from his mistakes so that he could hit his targets next month? What if he changed his perception of his manager from ‘she’s getting at me’ to ‘she’s genuinely trying to help me’? What if he saw multi-skilling as a brilliant opportunity to learn new skills, skills that undoubtedly would eventually improve his career prospects?

In his brilliant book, SUMO, Paul McGee suggests you ask yourself the following questions to help you put things into perspective:

• Who is to blame? You, them, both parties?
• How long will this situation last?
• On a scale of 1-10 how much does this situation affect my life?
• What’s the worst thing that can happen?
• What’s the best thing that can happen?
• What is the one thing I can do to make the best thing happen?

As for the bloke on the train, well, he got off at Piccadilly Station still oozing the characteristics of someone who is very reactive. I wondered who he was going to blame for his misgivings tomorrow.